I Went Retrograde in 2019

It’s been a minute, I know.  I once again fell off the face of the earth but I am making another come back! I have committed to write 12 blog posts this year and now that I have officially shared that with the handful of people who will read this post, we are in this together and I will make it happen!

It’s always so hard to re-start after a break.  I know that I want to start writing again but I am not entirely sure what I want to say.  I struggle with how much to share and why I am sharing anything at all.  My perfectionist self wants every post to be amazing and insightful.  Especially after a long break.  I am not sure I can muster up “amazing and insightful” right now, but I want to get this rolling again (and I am continuously working on letting go of my perfectionism) so here we go.

To start, I am not an astrologer yet!!! (surprise!)  I still love Astrology. I have acquired many more astrology books. I listen to Astrology podcasts weekly. I follow a zillion astrologers on Instagram. I went to an astrology conference in the fall. I think in the language of astrology. I post Instagram stories about the moon and astrological events that move me. I have done some mini readings for friends.  But I haven’t been able to invest the time to take it to the next level and I am not sure exactly HOW to to take it to the next level. (I don’t think I can get a master’s degree in Astrology?)  It’s still a passion. I am pretty sure its part of my life’s purpose in some way. I just have to figure out what to do next. More on that to come!

Speaking of the language of astrology, I feel like I went retrograde at the end of 2019.  The official definition of retrograde is to “move backwards”.  Planets go retrograde, but they don’t technically move backwards.  They appear to be moving backwards because the earth and the planet are moving at different speeds in different orbits.  (This video explains the astronomy of it, or just trust me).  When planets go retrograde, astrologers have observed that things can go a little haywire down here on earth.  Astrology says that the disorder retrogrades can cause is trying to show us something – to force us to pay attention or see things from a new perspective.  We don’t usually make changes when everything feels good in our lives.  We humans usually need challenge to push us to evolve.  It’s kind of the whole reason we are here.

There were some great moments in 2019, but there were a lot of challenges too, and things devolved for me as the year went on.  I started out in Hawaii, then got to celebrate my birthday with people I love, and followed that with an amazing trip to Ireland.  But I also had multiple health issues, went through some crazy family drama, got attacked by a dog, and worked a lot. By the end of the year, I found myself right back where I always end up, working around the clock with no time for myself, or anyone else in my life.  Things culminated into a work tornado of stress that was unlike anything I have every experienced.  (I know I have had a lot of work stress in my life so, I kind of feel like Chris Harrison on the Bachelor who insists that every season is the most dramatic one yet!  But really, it was the craziest yet! The Universe could give those reality show producers a run for their money.)

(Side note: My Year of Creativity kind of fizzled. Unless you count spreadsheets as creative?)

Everything could have been so much worse, and I am grateful that it wasn’t. My health issues were not life threatening, the dog “bite” did not break skin, my family is (mostly) holding it together, and I did not lose my job.  But there were messages being sent, and I was listening!

Universe to me:  Hello!!! I thought we were moving in the direction of our life’s purpose?  What are you doing?  You are not taking care of your heart! You are not taking care of your body! You are not feeding your soul!  OK, I am going to throw some stuff at you to make you pay attention!!

It was not fun.

In January, the smoke cleared. Things lightened up at work in a way that was definitely for my greatest and highest good, but there were some hard lessons in there about my ego and letting go, and about paying attention to where I put my energy, that helped me shift my perspective. (Nice work Universe!)

At the end of a retrograde, after a planet goes “direct” again, there is a shadow period (called a “retroshade”) as the planet is adjusting to the shift in direction (or the illusion of the shift in direction, I guess.)  January was my retroshade period.  Things were still a little weird and then I took some downtime to regroup and recover.  When February started, I was ready to go “direct”.

To get the energy flowing back in the right direction, I decided to bring “New Things” officially back in to my life!  I don’t have a specific number new things I want to do this year, I am just going to try to get out and do new stuff and hopefully, write about it!  I managed to knock out five new things in two weeks, so I am off to a good start!  You can find the list on my lists page!

Happy (very) belated new year!! It feels good to be “direct” again, and on the right path, and to have this 2019 wrap up post complete so I can really get started with 2020.

PS: Ironically, as I was writing this post, Mercury went retrograde and will be retrograde until March 9th, 2020.  Metaphorically, I am “direct” but in reality, we are all now experiencing Mercury retrograde which may cause some disruptions in communication, perception, and thinking (which are all related to the energy of the planet Mercury).  Be careful out there.