As it turns out, being a writer is not my purpose, or at least not my whole purpose.
I do love to tell my truth in my own unique voice.
I do love to do new stuff and write about it.
I am on the right path.
And I do have everything I need.
But there is more….
Apparently, my coaches never bought that writing was my purpose. They knew that I was meant for something bigger and that I was playing small. I knew it, too. But even with all of the purification, obstacle release, energy work, and vibrating at a higher frequency that I have been doing, I still needed a little help to pick up on the signals my higher self was sending me.
On the last hour of the last day of our pilgrimage, my coaches (and their spirit guides) started asking me questions….
How did a corporate executive end up on a pilgrimage with 11 spiritual, creative entrepreneurs?
What if every choice I have made in my life has led me to this moment?
What if the skills that have made me successful in my business career are exactly what creative entrepreneurs need?
What if these creative people I find myself on a pilgrimage with are the people I am supposed to help?
Full disclosure, this idea came up BEFORE I left for the pilgrimage. The voice in my head was telling me that I am supposed to be a bridge between the corporate and creative worlds. I mentioned this in my pre-work and got a homework assignment to go out and ask some visionaries what they need to add structure and process to their business.
I didn’t do it. I got upset and frustrated and made a million excuses for why this could not be my purpose. It felt hard and scary. I don’t know enough. I suck at selling. How could this be a scalable business? I convinced myself that I should just stay in my safe corporate world and buy stuff from creative people and write about it. I told myself that this was how I am supposed to bridge the worlds. I have felt so strongly that I need something more, but maybe I just have to appreciate what I have. That must be why this voice is telling me that I have everything I need. I don’t need to make a scary move. It’s all good.
But my current life does not make me truly happy. My job is OK but it’s not AMAZING. I want AMAZING!
I have always been drawn to the idea of being an entrepreneur but I had no idea what to DO!!! I needed a visionary with an idea that I could help them execute. And the idea of being an entrepreneur scared the shit out of me. I am not a risk taker by nature (at least not in this life so far.)
So I was waiting for my visionary to appear and doing what I know how to do and what feels safe. I got a computer science degree because I LOVE solving problems and thinking analytically. I taught school because I want to “save the world” (or at least do my part). I got an MBA because I am pragmatic and like having money and I was on a quest to “find my thing”. I left business school without my thing. Nothing felt exactly right. I did find work that was sometimes fun. I learned that I can pretty much tackle anything that comes my way. And I made some money. But my heart was never in it. I have been safe and secure and traditionally “successful”, but never fully satisfied.
Then I found myself on a trip learning about energy and the fifth dimension and leading with your heart and not fear. I was fascinated by all of it and dove right in. I have loved spending time with these women and they have big dreams for how they can help the world. And I have something they need and I can help them help the world!!
They are my visionaries! And I found my way to them, with every decision I have made up until this moment.
I still don’t have time to explain everything that has been happening these past two weeks. (Check out my Instagram feed for some highlights.) It has been so special and unique and different than anything I have every done before. I had no idea what was coming but it felt 100% right. All of it.
I have another assignment and this time I am going to do my homework!
Before we leave tomorrow morning, we all have to put our offer out in to the universe and let the world know problem we are going to solve. Not how, just what.
So instead of telling you that I am going to do 50 new things before I am 50 and then write about them (small!!!), I am telling you that I am going to see what kind of business I can create that will help creative entrepreneurs with the “business stuff” so they focus on giving their creative gifts to the world. Big!!! Scary!!! AWESOME. And I already have at least 5 clients!
I am not quitting my day job (yet). I am going to work with my new creative clients in my free time to see what is possible. That’s it.
I am letting go of needing to know exactly how it will all work out. I will probably freak out the minute we pull out of the English manor that I am writing you from now. But I have a support system in place to help me persevere and REALLY be my biggest and best self.
And I will keep reminding myself of one of my key takeaways from my 100 New Things (with a new twist). If you think you might want to do something but you’re not sure, ask your higher self. And if she says yes, just fucking do it!!!