Let the E-Mails Begin

My OK Cupid profile is up. (Read the highlights here if you missed it). I kept it positive and light. I did my best to illustrate my fabulous features instead of just saying I am this and I am that. I got some advice on my photos. Men are clicking on my profile and giving me high ratings. Things are rolling.

OK Cupid emailed me last week and told me that I am one of the most attractive users on the site. I have no idea how many people get this message, but even us hot chicks like to be told we are hot. Along with this honor comes more attractive users in your match list. Nice.

I read the next chapter in Evan Marc Katz’s “Finding the One Online” and it was time to send some emails. In the past, I have sent very generic messages that Evan strongly says DO NOT SEND. Things like…”I really liked your profile, let me know what you think about mine..blah..blah..blah”.  I was thinking that if I spent 8 hours writing my profile, just read it and let me know what you think! Why do I have to come up with something unique to say to you?  (As I read that back, I realize it does not sound like a good dating strategy.) I have on occasion sent other emails calling out things we have in common or things I liked about their profiles, which Evan also says is boring. Perhaps my emails have been my downfall!

One of Evan’s email strategies is to make up some kind of funny story about something in the person’s profile that is SO off the wall, it can’t be true, but it get’s their attention.  I had a favorite who said one of the things he can’t live without are the three guys he went to 1st grade with. I sent this email…

“No way! You went to 1st grade with Mike, Brad & Josh too? What a coincidence! We must have missed each other at the reunion. Brad went a little crazy with the car bombs as I recall.”

Did I not completely knock it out of the park? Weird, but funny, right?

No response.

I decided this method was SO out there that I would tone it down a bit for the next one. Besides, it is hard to come up with these funny stories and I need to get moving on this! I  picked a guy who said he was reading Buddhist tracts but the only think he had learned was that he was a bad Buddhist.  I sent this email…

“The fact that you are reading Buddhist tracts puts you leaps and bounds above me as I struggle to be fully present for 20 minutes every day. Are you a good meditator?”

Not as funny, but not totally horrible, right?

No response.

For my last try this week, I picked a guy who was really funny and said he liked the show New Girl. As I was catching up on some episodes, I noted a quote from the hilarious character Schmidt and sent the guy this email.

“‘Manhood today is about exfoliation, cheese courses, emotional honesty, and Paxil’ – was said by who?”

Funny..right? I suppose I could have elaborated more, but there is no way this would not get someone attention!

No response.

In the mean time, I have received several emails from men who have not remotely sparked my interest.  Here are a couple of good ones for your reading pleasure.

Well, hell(o) from this small space and from one half of an entreaty. Contents humbly submitted as an invitation and thumbnail sketch of suggested sensibilities which may just be in interesting ways aligned with yours, should you be inclined to peruse…as in fellow fine form of intelligent life as a basis for open-minded adventure appreciation.   (Wow..totally inarticulate)

I really enjoy your profile it made me laugh but I see how serious your request when searching for a partner. My name is xxxx. I’m not searching for anything just trying to communicate with a star. I find you beautiful very appeal to a diverse amount of eyes not sure why you remain single? Your beauty is made up of different things from physical to intelligence. With a women like you any man with a wide eye can go straight to the top. I would define you as a pillar cause ever building requires it within the foundation. I’m sure you heard all types of things and have gotten ridicules emails containing nonsense but I assure you that this is true words carefully thought. You are a fantasy, dream, and something out of a model book but a reality to man like myself. I look forward to hear back from you? I would like to know your favorite color? What’s your fear? What’s your passion the reason for your being? Wow very pretty good luck if I don’t hear back from you. One word defines your entire being “beautiful”.  (This guy’s profile photo is of his abs.)

Are you busy? (Really, that was it. And his self summary says “I am a good person I wear glasses. But I am far from blind.” Really, that’s it.)

Good times..but I carry on! There are more men to favorite and more creative emails to write…

5 thoughts on “Let the E-Mails Begin”

  1. Hi! I found your blog after doing a general internet search on How to Meet the One Online. I was thinking about buying it but wanted to read reviews that weren’t on Evan’s site. Any luck so far?

  2. No luck so far, but I have not put as much time in to it as Evan recommends. I sent one additional email since this post, with no response. No emails have rolled in off any interest. I will keep trying and keep posting updates! It did get me refocused and give me some hope as I ventured back out there…but I can’t say it has made a difference so far. Good luck to you!

  3. Hi, I also found your blog after doing a search on Evan’s HMOO product and service. Any update so far? One thing I could not totally agree 100% with is the email initiation thing. Several other dating books I read say the opposite. I wonder if this type of behavior (email initiation) actually works to attract the men you are interested in?

    1. Amie – still no luck. More emails sent with no reply. You are reading dating books that say women should not email men? What other strategies do they say to use to attract the men you are interested in? It seems the only other strategy would be to wait and see if they email you. I would rather at least try. What are their recommendations?

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